I have a box of cigarettes in my hand. I am not a smoker but as I was walking towards the beach someone had littered this box and I decided to pick it up and use it with my experience. My thought of how I wanted to create my death was to go to the beach, be washed ashore, drowned, etc. I just knew I wanted it to be at the beach. I dragged my roommate along so she can take the images for me.
So I had thought we were going to snap these images Friday after my roommate gets out of work so I had gotten ready and everything and it was 5 pm and she still wasn’t home. I decided to message her and she thought we were going to go on Saturday, she then arrived at the apartment and we quickly drove to the beach before it got dark.
We arrived and as soon as we saw the cigarette box in the sand, my roommate and I both thought I could have been out on a walk to the beach taking a drag when the rip tide pulled me in because I was started to walk a little too close to the waves and then I drowned because I wouldn’t know what to do in a rip tide.
I think the weather and also timing, was perfect. I wanted to do it when the sun was setting but the rainy weather turned out to be way better. The gloomy sky just adds to the topic of death. I still can’t believe I willingly laid on the sand. All I thought about as I was lying down was how much sand I would be getting in my hair and wondering how many days it would take to fully get them out.
I really enjoyed this experience, it wasn’t the idea of death, it was more particularly thinking of different scenarios and how to place my body, etc.